Emo-- Happiness

很久很久

2012-01-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

很快的，新的一年已经过了9天。

想想自己在这段日子，我做了些什么？

又会做些什么东西呢？

结果，

觉得自己很多东西还没做好。

今年，就开始我的健身大计划吧！

一步一步。。

看来，我将会限定自己有个日记，好好记录。

加油。

孤单

2011-09-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

今天突然间觉得有点孤单。
觉得自己突然间，被喜欢的人抛弃。
坦白说，
人就是那么的贱。

伤心的，是我喜欢的那个。
我打了电话给他，约他出来。
他说没有心情，不要出来，
原来，

就跟一大班的朋友喝茶。
也不应该骗我吧。
加上他喝茶的地方离我5 分钟而已。

我突然间心碎。
人就是那么的现实。
不是你的杯茶就不理你了。
你，就是垃圾。

然后，我在另外一个人的身上听到了很多很多的东西。
原来，
我认识的他，并不是他。

也可以说原来就是那个样子吧。
我突然间觉得自己该保护自己。

想想自己对其他我不喜欢的人，
我，
也不会那个样子对人。
我也会跟他们作朋友。
跟他们说没有可能。。免得人家伤害。

然后。
自己遭到这个事。觉得。
天就是在转。

突然间我觉得。
我的天。。塌了。

希望我，会幸福。
你，这个大坏蛋。你等着瞧。。

你，走宝了！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

The smurf = GAY

2011-09-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

今天，我又跟朋友处街。
越来越感觉我的朋友有点可爱。

感觉就是跟他出门的时候，
他就有给人感觉在吮手指的样子。
样子，还ok.. 可以说，他的性格很吸引人。

跟他出去，很舒服。

今天，
我跟他说，

‘知道吗？smurf 是gay 的.’

他说，‘怎么可能？’

‘你注意到吗？smurf 只有男，没有女。’

‘有啊。。。就有一只。。’

‘那是因为，smurf 表达的是gay..’
‘女的代表，transexual... 你没注意到smurf里，有个，很爱美的，喜欢插花的男smurf吗？
他是sissy 的，还有，很多architect都是gay 的。。。。’

我的朋友就望了我，说，
‘有意思。。。’

‘你知道吗，gargamel 其实是指homophobia的人。。。因为要赶尽杀绝。
他们那么开心，因为，gay 就是要开心的。
你注意到吗？他们住在一个很远没人的地方，那叫gay community..
他们准备的gay festival.. 其实是mardi gras..
那么多smurf跳舞，你不感觉是在DJ station 吗？’

我的朋友。就那样的瞪着我。
眼里哈哈哈的笑

我觉得他很可爱。

然后，我也偷看了他一眼，

那可爱的朋友。。。。。

雨天。

2011-09-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

今天，下了场雨。
丝丝的感觉，冰冰的感觉。
我反复的听了一首感人的音乐，
那就是，

k 的音乐，
认识k 没多久，
他给我的感觉，很孤单，很伤感的一个人。
他，
唯有他自己，

认识他以前，感觉这个人蛮好看的，
听了他的故事，加上这首歌。
变成了一部好看的电影。

他跟我谈起他以前的恋人。
去世的恋人。

他谈起他们两个人浪漫的相遇。

他谈起了他，因为癌症住在病房的日子。

他，

谈起了，他辞去他的工作，为了要照顾恋人的片刻。。

他，

谈起了，那天下雨恋人离他而去的那个星期天。

他，
眼里泪汪汪的，感动的说。

但是，他爬了起来。
用他的心灵跳了艺术舞。

我那天看见他的时候，
他，竟然拿着那个gucci包包。
呆呆的等待着。

他说，
他不再相信拥有爱情。
不是因为世界没有爱情，
是因为失去的痛。

我，
看见了他。
望着他。

他说，
他离开了新加坡，回到马来西亚。
离开了他的美丽的回忆。

离开了所有的痛，
回来了父母的地方。

呆呆的眼神，
他，
不敢尝试新的东西，

他，
痛在回不了过去。

昨晚，他打了个电话给我，
我没听。。。
因为我忙着。

我想，
今天槟城下着雨，
他，
现在也呆呆的坐着，
望着窗外，
感受恋人飘飘的冷风，

你要多保重，k..
你的恋人，在天国为你祈福。
你，只要开心的活下去就好。。。。。。

回来了

2011-03-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

感觉上，我消失了一阵。

对我自己来说，是自己给自己一个时间来整理自己。

我，现在说。

我，

回来了。：）

我开始认识新朋友。

新接触。

新感想。

那天，也找了leggie出来。

看见朋友，也超开心的。

加油哦。我的天，开始变了：）

我不要全世界，我在全世界，只需要你。

2011-01-21T05:59:00.000-08:00

今天，我在吃午餐时，
突然间看见我中学的一个学长。
他，
太帅了。
肌肉也。。keat keat 的。

怎么他一点也没变？中学。。。离我太远了。
应该有。。
12 年了吧。

他的笑容，他的肌肉，他的身材，根本没有改变。
连胡须都没有。。。
唉。。好干净。
摸的时候一定很好。。

由于跟同事吃饭，
我唯有，偷瞄了他。。。5分钟。
好完美阿。

还记得我中学，
不小心看过他脱剩内裤
又后来开始有幻想。

对，
是他。。
是他，启发我对‘同性’的吸引。
今天看见他。
我根本好像看见神一样。。

我很想摸。。。。

我不要全世界，我在全世界，只需要你。
我，
要摸。。。

：）

伤心

2010-10-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

昨晚收到cutie的讯息。
原来，有人在外讲他的坏话。
而这次，竟然他们用我来说他坏话。
伤透了他的心

我，突然间好像变得对他来说很恐怖。

我，没有跟人谈他的事，只有跟e很不直接的问了一点东西。导致e猜测到某某东西。
是e说的吗？
我永远不会知道。

突然间觉得很怕。
伤了他。

我真的希望他得到幸福，
因为他的人，真的很好。
只是我不适合他，cutie..可能你太帅了，
人家也开始的妒嫉你。

我希望你不会恨我。
以后，就要睁大眼睛看清楚。

对不起。cutie..我真的没说。
我给你个拥抱。
但是，你可能。也不会要我的了。。呜呜。。。

今天，超伤心的。。

10/10/10

2010-10-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

想不到，突然间我已经两个月没在这里涂鸦了。
生活也开始慢慢的没有什么的纪录。

是，我开始disconnect来reconnect吗？
我不知道，
但是，

这两个月的我，说，通电话，
说，跟人家吃晚餐，
好像比以往慢慢的多了一些。

在这期间，也认识了几个很奇怪的人，
其中一个还变成了我蛮好的朋友。

坦白说，，每个人到了一个年级，会突然间，
醒觉。
然后继续懒惰下去，
有些人，
开始努力为自己的生命打拼。

我呢？
在中间吧。

还是寻找适合自己的人。
也尽量不要让自己的样貌慢慢的老化下去。

我突然觉得，
自己，也会是有Market的，
但是，自己还是会很选人。

知道吗？当你选人，人也在选你。

慢慢的，我觉得生活开始有了它的意义，
继续走。继续走。

累了，睡后，
就要跟自己说，
没有退路了。走吧。。

对于我之前的那个小男生。
就祝福他幸福快乐。。

。。。。。。。。

5th Aug

2010-08-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

我跟mr. Cutie 总算划清界限。。
我想，不知道他有没有像我那种感觉。

但是，

过了今天，我觉得。
他可能当我是个奇怪的人。

也是自己太过无聊。
也算成长了。

再见吧，cutie.。。谢谢你给了我美好的回忆。

1st Aug

2010-08-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

钱财原来在这世界可以买到很多东西。
他，可以买到这个，那个。
我当初感觉，
我，
是永远不能够被钱所卖。

直到我开始知道，原来我身边的人的价值观不一样。

突然间觉得自己看世界不够透彻。
我感觉自己失败了。

哥哥姐姐都说世界上很奸诈的。。

而我时常说，
我，不觉得那样。。

难道现在要跟他们叩头认错？

天外有天。

我，认识的人，
我，用心认识的人。

未必是那样。

以后，虽然以感觉看世界，
看来，
现在，是用理智看世界了。。

希望不会太迟。
虽然我时常对自己说，
我没钱，

人，可以骗我的什么东西呢？

原来。。。。

但是，突然间，今天，当我望着镜子的时候，
我发现，

某一部分的自己，不见了。。而那，不是钱可以买的东西。

19th July 2010

2010-07-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Good morning, God.
If you are really up there.

I seek your help to make me a better person.
A more sophisticated organised person .

In terms of working and personal life.
I still have liking over Mr. Cutie, but he just gave me feelings of uncertainly,
More probably, he is the Mr. Popular and have dinner appointments,
and goes out with Mr. 8.30 pm and Mr. 11 pm.

I wonders what is he searching...
I wonders what am I searching...

I can't blame him, as I am searching and browzing through Grindr's photo's looking at
how you make men so handsome, and how I look.

Working life is not as last time, there is new challenges coming,
and all this while I mention to myself, it is ok.
But it is not ok, this time, As I don't want to accept defeat that easily.

Give me more strength, my GOD,
Give me.. More Wisdom,

Give me.. more Great Communication power..
Give me.. more Great Organizing ..

......

Thank you GOD,
for letting me know.

Life. can be easy,
If you find a way..

突然间，世界慢慢的变了。
我变得很静，很静。

我开始看见了世间的不一样。
以往，我纯正的想法，
原来，就是那么的幼稚，单纯。

。。
哎。

这几天我也不知道干嘛，
有一晚突然梦见抱着我的同事，
我慢慢的摸他的脚，
慢慢的摸，
慢慢的摸他的胸。。
真的，
像拍三级片。。

我，怎么了？
cutie 呢？怎么办？。。
我觉得，
我要更加努力，

好好对自己吧，
小旋转。
聪明点。。。

开始觉得厌倦

2010-06-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

坦白说，
这几个月来开始了我的人生旅程。
面对的东西也突然间越来越多。

我面对了，

工作的压力。
社会的奸诈。
真恳的友情。
爱我的家人。
恋爱的对象。

好像很多东西写。

但是，
我只可说。
我开始慢慢的长大。
可惜竟然到了34岁才发现，才开始。
我老了。。。

对与cutie.
他对男友分手了。
我不知道为什么，
但是，
虽然他说他喜欢我，要开始，
但是，
我拒绝了。。

感觉，很快的开始，
代表很快的结束。

他刚刚分手，就要开始。

我觉得，
时间会证明一切。

正当你在看我blog的时刻，
他，

已经有很多追求者往他跑去。

我，突然间停了。
对于，不是很有钱的自己。
虽然对他有感觉，但是，
我。。。
我。。。

我，
养不起他。。。。。

虽然他说钱不重要。
但是，
我还是感觉，
如果，有个有钱人要包养他，
我不应该成为阻挡他的人。

就做个好朋友吧。。
也许，
还有未来。。。

再见

2010-05-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

Dearest Cutie..

知道吗？慢慢的，天空的颜色变了。
它变得很黑。

我，开始感觉失恋。
我，睡了三天。
我，梦见了你。。

我开始寻找你的痕迹。
我开始寻逆你的味道。
我开始想念你。

我只想抱着你。

你说，我没交出真心，
你说，我不够想念你。
你说，你不知道我心里，有没有为你动摇。
你说，我爱的是其他，
你问，我明白吗？

我说，我想抱着你。
我说，你像我每天用的香水，
我说，我的眼泪可以为你而掉。

我想你，你想他。
我抱你，你抱他。

现在连想sms你也怕。
你知道，我明了，
我的眼泪为你而掉。
你知道，你明了，
我的心，也为你而动摇。

你说，我不在，你才要他。
你说，我不够贴心，只是如此而已。

我的心，已碎了。
你，明白吗？

你说，去寻新的吧！
你说，你还爱着他！

我只想每一秒抱着你。
你说，只有前进，没有后退。
我说，改变不了过去，也许会有将来。。。
这，你听到吗？

。。。。。。

what is love?
Love is having tears when you are not with him.

emotioneel

今天。。

2010-05-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

时间慢慢的过
青春慢慢的流失
很多事情，是我们都无法控制。
但是，对于自己的思想
我们可以掌握。
坦白说，
我开始慢慢的在部落格消失。

我觉得，
我爱上了body combat..

坦白说，
经过了这几天的思考，
我算是慢慢的放开了。

cutie..他，竟然跟另外一个人拍拖了。
我问了他，
那么快？

他说，
“因为时间的关系”

我才到kl两星期，。。。

当我知道的时候，
我真的很心疼，
为什么？

慢慢的，开始接受了。
我想，
人，应该成长。

那天，我们出去，
算是相见的最后一次，
我们看了电影。
拥抱了。

然后，我送他回家。

时间。
我们依依不舍的。

他说，如果你早点。。。

---------------------------

什么是爱情？
What is love?
Love is feeling pain when you're not together.

Goodbye, cutie... I wish you the best of everything..

feeling for the 'cutie'

2010-04-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

I seriously think that I am coming closer and closer to the cutie..
and find that chatting with him is fun..

But at times, the cutie just give me sense of insecurity..

Firstly, he got a lover.
and that makes me? His best friend?

Secondly, he got a lot of programs..
Which I think he is popular..

Thirdly, although I went to his house.. his room and .. kinda....
But I suddenly saw him chatting with another guy..
which the guy comment
" I think you are playing me.."
and the cutie replied.. "is it?"

Is having some sort of feeling towards someone will think things... imagining.. things?

Seriously..

I think he just think I am his best friend..
not more..

hmmm...
life sucks.. huh..

seemed that I need to find friends over grindr..

Friends?

I like porn..

2010-04-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

I like porn.

Frankly, everynight I will watch porn before I go to sleep.

Until a time, I was thinking.. Oh my god.

What had I wasted my life with.

If I had used the time watching porn to improve myself or get the real stuff.

I will not be wat I am now.

I chat with 'the cutie' before.

He mention he loves sex.. and got 7 lovers before this.

I mentioned I had no lover before.. but I watch a lot of porn.

I guess porn in his view is none other than just like the picture I show above.

But for my side..

It is always interesting to see male physic..

So.. Porn..

anyone??

Good luck for myself to quit my porn addiction and go with the real stuff.

Which so far, I might be having some chance of trying.

But.. I guess I liked porn more because In porn, you can have a lot of variety..

But with a lover, You have only one choice.

Hm......

Good luck for myself !

This is why men turn gay....

2010-02-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

and this is the reason why men turn gay... Men are too handsome!!!!

Or can I say, only handsome guys should be gay!! :P ha ha ha..

Feeeling

2009-12-21T06:18:00.000-08:00

I felt like a broken doll today.

broken to pieces..

when you know which part is broken.
the sooner you can repair the broken part.
emotioneel

Chapter Ten - The fall

2009-10-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

"You got really great abs.." Jack was staring at Jonathan in the shower room.
"Ha ha..", before he knows it, Jonathan was blushing..
"You too.." , as Jonathan was trying to swing away from his attention.

Without both of them knowing it,
It was a show of two delicious meat in the shower room.
The running water made both their muscle's glowing in the dark.
The scent of the soap, making the atmosphere a lustful one.

---------------------------------------------------

Jack started to sip his hand into his swimming trunks..
Slowly rubbing.
Slowly ..
And the swimming trunk suddenly droped to the floor.

Jonathan looked.
Giggled... like a kid.
He saw Jack's full naked body.
It was a scene made in heaven.
He stared at his neck,
his butt,
his penis.
and wonders if there a stamp stating 'made in heaven'
but there was none.

He can only admire..
Before Jonathan even noticed,
Jonathan started rubbing soap under his swimming trunk.
and his swiming trunk slipped down as well..
where he revealed his perfect six and a half inch dick.

-----------------------------------------

There was no moon in the shower room.
But vividly, you can hear enigma's 'lust' was playing around..

Procedamus in pace
In nomine Christi, Amen...
Cum angelis et pueris, fideles inveniamur
Attollite portas, principes, vestras
et elevamini, portae aeternales
et introibit Rex Gloriae
Qius est iste Rex Glorie?
Sade, dit moi...
Sade, donne moi...
Procedamus in pace
In nomine Christi, Amen...
Sade dit moi qu'est ce que tu vas chercher ?
Le bien par le mal ?
La vertu par le vice ?
Sade dit moi pourquoi l'evangile du mal ?
Quelle est ta religion ou` sont tes fide`les ?
Si tu es contre Dieu, tu es contre l'homme.
Sade es-tu diabolique ou divin ?
(3x)Sade, dit moi...
Hosanna...
Sade, donne moi...
Hosanna...
In nomine Christi, Amen...
B : Find LoveThe principles of lust... Are easy to understand
Do what you feel... Feel until the end
The principles of lust... Are burnt in your mind
Do what you want... Do it until you find Love...
C : Sadeness (Reprise)
(3x)Sade, dit moi...
Hosanna...
Sade, donne moi...
Hosanna...

End... of Jonathan

2009-10-24T04:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend...

I really think I sucked in writing stories.
so..
That goes my writing career..
Well.. It's definitely not the end of Jonathan.
He is .. Living his life. The fullest.

So is me. Living my life.
For everyone's information,
I am Officially 'Celebrity Gym member' .

Joined the first time.
Why I joined?

The fitness consultant (Front desk sales) asked me a question.
"Either you want to be like this forever or do something now."
"We are offering a chance for you to be a celebrity. Or be like one!"

"Err......"
"Let me consider first..."
"Which credit card are you using.?"
"I want to consider first.."
"Ok.. Which credit card are you using?"
"CIMB"
"Can I have a look at your credit card?"
".... "
"Done.."
"I thought I mention I want to consider first?"
"No.. I will decide for you ."
"Huh?"...

And I ended up signing in.

"Remember, you are the best!"
"Huh?!"

I seriously needs his persuation skill..

Then he sent me to another fitness consultant.

That looked like "sylvester stallone"
"Are you serious? to become a gym member."
"Yes."
"Then you will need my class.."
"No, I am poor."
"Then you should leave. Because you are not ready."
"Huh?!"
"....."

Where I signed in another course of Personal Trainer.

Hence,
I officially announced, I am a celebrity member and BROKE because of the Personal Trainer course 20 classes (RM 140 per class of one hour)

and seriously again. I am not a good in talks like this...
And after I joined.
I found that there is not a single 'leng chai' there to 'KAP' (Cantonese- meaning admire)

......

ANyway. I can only wait... No more swimming. But there will be sauna stories.

Errr... got one already. But I will keep it for next post. THanks again. My friends.

Chapter Nine- Jack

2009-10-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

It was a wonderful Saturday Evening.
As usual, Jonathan came out and did his normal routine.
Swimming.
He doesn't know why he is that attracted to the sport.
The idea of swimming is a personal sport that he can do it himself,
or he is able to view half naked men doing the same thing he is doing.

..................................

Today is an interesting day.
Jonathan from afar vividly saw a guy watching him.
When Jonathan swim, he swims as well..

"hi.. I am Jack"
"Jonathan"
"Often swims here?"

"When I am free.."
"You gym?"
"No... normally i just jog or swim." replied Jonathan.

For no reasons Jonathan was mesmerized by this Jack.
He got dark eyebrowns.
Long lashes.
He looked a bit like Wonbin (Korean actor)..

It seemed odd when Jonathan was acting like a small kid with candy.
He felt his heart pumping fast and his only intention is just to look at Jack.
......

"Wanna grab a bit afterward?"
"Ok.." Jonathan replied. Half giggling like a kid having his first candy..

.........................................................

Chapter Nine - A new beginning

2009-10-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

---------------------------------------
There are times when we did the wrong things, got punished..
But life goes on.
We learn.
We grew..
and in somehow we became stronger.

----------------------------------------

Jonathan did the same thing as well.

After the club incident, he felf part of himself lost.
And decided to quit his job in Penang and transfer to Kuala Lumpur.
He can't bear the past here and decided that he needs a fresh new start.

He dyed his hair autumn red.
It was those color that is a combination of green and red that will make one's face shine.

He changed his clothings.
He changed his life.

-----------------------------------------

It was only then he met with his prince charming.
Jack.

There is a saying, bear the rain and you will see rainbow.
So will Jonathan.

Chapter Eight - The title

2009-10-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

Jonathan woke up naked the next day.

He tried to climb up the bed. But was too weak.
He felt dizzy.. He felt his head was big.. He felt pain.
And He was naked.

"Oh My GOD!!!.. OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!" , Jonathan started to say things to himself.
Although it was not clear, a bit blurrr.. but. He held on.

He sat on the bed.
Feeling hopeless.
The room was empty.

He started to check on wallet, keys. IC's and was lucky to find everything was there.
On the side table, there was only one thing that make him want to vomit.

A white envelope with a note inside.

Still feeling a bit blur.. Jonathan opened the envelope.
There was RM200 inside.
With a note.
'Call me.. I am Julian. You're fabulous. 012-xxx3398'
"OMG OMG OMG.." Jonathan heard himself saying to himself over and over again.

But it was too late.

'How can I be so careless... omg.. how.. how..'

It was too late.

Jonathan realised that he had been a victim.
As he can't recall what happened that night, how Julian looks like, what happened..etc He could only punch his fist on the wall.

After that , Jonathan dragged himself to the washroom and cleaned himself.

He can only feel the shower like knifes stabbing him..
He kneeled down.
and wept.

------------------------------------------------

Two days after the club incident.
Julian's personal collection suddenly emerged a new title.

"Angela - (**The 36D**)

Chapter Seven - The dream

2009-10-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

"Julian, you owe me a big one."
"Sure, make it over to you soon."
"He is surely handsome, what are you doing with me later?"
"You guess?!"

Jonathan was last seen shirtless. Left with a Tatooed hunk in a golden color Honda City.

-------------------------------------------

Julian slowly placed Jonathan on the Hotel bed.
He switched on full light to see the handsome Jonathan's face.

"A piece of Art.... boy, you are handsome, Jonathan", murmured Julian to himself.
He slowly place his JVC GZ-MG555 hybrid on the bed.

"You will make a great show...You are really handsome"
'Julian started to close the curtains.

and switched on the power.

----------------------------------------------------------

He started to take off Jonathan's BONIA shoe, after that his jean trouser.

"Wow. ..You are wearing Valentino Tango brief."
"Let me see what is underneath.."
Julian was amazed of what he is seeing.
It was a perfect dick. Julian started to lick.. to use his tongue.

Then. He started to lick Jonathan's nipple..
Slowly he flipped Jonathan to the back and started all over again. To his cute butt..

Julian started to take off his own clothes.
There was huge biceps.. Unbelievable abs.. and a seven inched dick.
The was two naked muscle men in the room.
And it was like Tsunami on the bed.

--------------------------------------------------

Jonathan was drugged. Unconsious.

That night... Jonathan had a nightmare.
He dreamed of being little Jonathan again.
Uncle Mark was there.. playing 'the thumb'.......
And he couldn't do anything, except closing his eyes.
The pain was there. And he felt he would just died...

---------------------------------------------------

Julian was extra stimulated by handsome Jonathan.
He took advantage on Jonathan for 5 hours non-stop.
He was completely satisfied and never felt so great before.

Before he knows it.
It was the birth of Julian's personal collection titled.. Jonathan (*Best of the best*)

Chapter Six-- The meet.

2009-10-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

It was on 15th of August, a Saturday,
Jonathan was in his house. Resting and reading a reading a book given by the management.

It was a boring book titled "Think Like A Winner-by Dr. Walter Doyle Staples". The book was given as a gift with a string behind.
They were required to read the book aloud every Monday morning of page 18-19.

" When you change your thinking,
you change your beliefs;
When you change your beliefs;
You change your expectations;
....
You change your life!!"

It reminded him the Japanese people where they need to sing the slogan to motivate themselves.

-------------------------------------------------
For no reason Jonathan was suddenly motivated.
It was a special day today to motivate him so much.
Today, was his birthday!

He felt that all his colleagues was celebrating his birthday with him, but he suddenly realised that there was no close friends to celebrate this special day with especially after work.

'Why not go to MOMO?', Jonathan think to himself.

He changed his clothes to red that he don't wear often. Sprayed his lucky perfurm 'CK-One summer' (Limited edition) and put his favourite bonia shoes on. 'Well, will be coming back home soon.
', he thought.

-------------------------------
MOMO was a mixed club that is famous in Penang. For no reason's, this was Jonathan's first outing to the club.

He arrived there approximately at 11.45 pm.
This is the interesting place where he found and met with Julian.

------------------------------

"Hi. First time here?". Julian asked.
"No. ", Jonathan was trying to keep his sentence short.
"Wat's your name? I am Julian."
"Jonathan."
"And where do you live..?"
Jonathan was a bit bored with the conversation.

Suddenly, he saw his colleague there.
When he was looking at his colleagues , he was handed a drink by the bar tender.

"On the house."
"Serious? Thanks"Jonathan replied.
.....
"This 'green apple' vodka taste weird"

.........

He started to feel a bit high.
For no reason's, Jonathan feel as he can touch the stars.
He felt hot, as he started to take off his shirt making him a shirtless handsome hunk.
He remembered himself dancing... dancing and dancing.....
His head was spinning.
and he ws high.

<>

Chapter Five - Julian

2009-10-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

Julian was one of Angela's pub friends.

After the INCIDENT,

Angela requested Julian to revenge for her.

....................................................

"I want you to seduce Jonathan. Do anything to make him suffer!"

"I want him to suffer!!!" Angela started her conversation

"What will I have in return?", Julian asked.

"You will get what you always wanted.." Angela continued, with her orange juice.

"And that is???"

"A taste of me.."

"..... deal..."

......................................................

One of the interesting things Julian do for fun is .....

SEX..

and more SEX..

There was a time where he had the same conversation with Angela.

To revenge on behalf of her.

How he do revenge is to have Great sex.

Incridible Sex.

With a dark secret behind......

.................................

"Julian, Your tongue.. ooo...ah..ah..."

Julian was kissing and using his tongue..

He is great with his tongue.

"OOOOOOO..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... you're so good.. so good.."

"You are wonderful.. you are GOD!!"

"AA... aaaaaaaaaaa.. ooooooooooooooo....OOOO..OoooOOOOOooooOOOooo....."

"AAaaAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaa .. AA.. AAA..AAAAAAAAAAAAA...a.a.a.aaaaaa"

However, there is something wrong with this picture.

Something that is seriously wrong.

Something that involve a JVC GZ-MG555 hybrid

Yes.. You are right.

He liked to taped all his sexual encounters.

And how he managed to fish out Handsome Jonathan.

Was interesting.

What will happen next?

Chapter Four - The fall

2009-10-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

"Jonathan?!!! Jonathan?!"
Jonathan suddenly realise that he was in a SALES meeting.
"I already have 4 action plans that I will be implementing this quarter. We will get a great Quarter 4", Jonathan explained.

He was trying hard to focus..
But his mind went lost again...

...............................

It was on a interesting April 4th 2009.
Angela and himself was having a business meet with an important customer.
Half an hour before the customer came, Angela made a interesting remark that Jonathan felt weird.
It was the first step of Angela after the Japan onsen incident that makes Jonathan felt she is interested in him.

"Jonathan, my breast will become rosy pink when I am in a anxious mood.. I don't know why I had the feeling today."
"Do you feel anxious today? Jonathan? Do you think my breast is pink?", Angela asked.
"No. You looked gorgeous Angela. Gorgeous. You'll be great.", replied Jonathan while looking
into Angela's rosy pink breast.

To Jonathan, it looked like two gigantic meat balls.
Now he felt full already.

But he tryed to look interested in the rosy pink breast.
Who will know that female's breast will turn pink when they are anxious.
He was interested to see the color of nipple. But stopped as he is thinking of what to present to the prospect.

..........................

Things was interesting when Angela was trying to hook Jonathan for her sexual dreams.
But badly shattered during the INCIDENT

It was after the INCIDENT that Angela started to hate Jonathan and tryed to take revenge.

That was where Julian comes into the picture.

Chapter Three - Angela

2009-10-07T06:15:00.000-07:00

"Jonathan, what are you going to do with you missed QTD (Quarter To Date)? We expect you to excel. You're the best last quarter. Can you do it?"
A lady with a high pitched sound started to emerge.

The lady's name was Angela.
AKA tou ke nio
She was wearing a black suite with a snake symbol neclace today.
The snake was her chinese zodiac. Black was because the fengshui sinseh said that this year, she will be best suited with the color Black.
She was a widow in her mid thirties.

There was a lot of rumours of this lady.
Some said her husband died of too much sex.
Others said that , her husband died during them having a threesome.
But no one can denied that she had a high sexual appetite.

Jonathan was unable to focus..
His mind was somewhere else.

For no reasons, he was recalling last years encounter with this lady boss.

...................................

It was in Japan.
This incidence happen in the onsen , when both of them was in business trip.
It was a funny incident.

Funny, as handsome Jonathan mistakenly walked in the lady onsen NAKED with a small towel on top of his head.
Inside the lady onsen, there is only lady Angela.
And she saw what greatness that Jonathan possesses under his smart clothing.
a six and a half inch dick with abs that everyone is dying for..

not to forgot the cute butt when Jonathan walk out the onsen.

Unlucky for handsome Jonathan,
He was wearing spectacles but took the spectacles off in the undress room outside.
He only see
A blurr lady naked.. but a towel on top of her head.

Ever since then, Angela will sometimes do unexpected things.

.....................

Chapter two - Nightmares.

2009-10-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

Spring 2009

"Little Jonathan!!.. Come out come out !!"
He woke up almost instantly. Before he knows it, he was already perspiring profusely.

With slow steps, he started to climb up from the bed.
Clock on the wall was showing 2.30am.

He walked up to the washroom to take a drink when he spotted himself in the mirror.
A handsome lad in his thirties started to appear. He was well build. With strong features, he looked a bit like Steve Yap (Malaysian actor cum model) with great skin.

He looked around him.
There was no one here.

"Jonathan, just go to sleep.." , as he murmured to himself.

----------------------------

Little Jonathan survived the past and grew to be a handsome man.
He became a sales manager in a local malaysia company based in Penang.

Outside, when Jonathan was out in the field, He was chatty, friendly, full of confidence.
and that was only when he was outside.

Shadowed with the past, Jonathan hide in his house alone most of the time.
He strongly believed that with workouts, and no alcohols, he will not be the vulnerable broken doll to be played with.

He strongly believed that before he met with Julian.
The man that will change his life forever.

<>

Chapter One -- The thumb

2009-10-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Summer 1983.
The young boy with long lashes was running around in the house again and again.
He is cheerful as there was no one in the house.
At a glance, he looked like David Beckham in a small body. With brown hair, brown eyes, and with a fair skin. In Asian eyes, he looked a bit like Bruce Lee, with sharp features that will melt one's heart when he is seen.

Today is Wednesday, he thought.
He looked up, and sees the clock.
'oh no.. It will be 4pm soon..' , he started to panic and ran up to his room to hide.
'But hide where?'
He hide under the bed when suddenly there was a bang on the door.

"Jonathan!! where are you?...."
"Come out and play with me.. Today is 'THUMB' day!", continued the man.

A man in his forties walked in the house.
He was ugly. With a fat belly, uncut hair and a scent that he had not been taking a bath for one weeks now.

"Come out, Jonathan!! Uncle Mark is here!!"
"Time to play thumb... come out come out whereever you are!!"

------------------

Jonathan was hiding and tried his best to be soundless.
He felt so silent that he can hear himself breathing, panicking...

"FOund you, naughty Jonathan.. naughty Jonathan."
"Play hide and seek with Uncle Mark, ya.."
"Can't wait to play THUMB ya..."

"No.. uncle Mark, I am unwell today." said Jonathan softly.
"let me see.. You are healthy. " without giving him a chance, the man pulled Little Jonathan to his bedroom and shut the door.

------------------

The man pulled out a dvd from the DVD cupboard and started playing the movie.
In the screen, there was a naked boy and a man.

"Let's play THUMB... " the man started to unbuckle his trousers..
"No.. uncle Mark, I will be good boy.. Pls don't. It hurts.." little Jonathan begged..

"Shut up.. or no dinner for you!!!", shouted the man.

The man slowly closes the curtain...
and little Jonathan closed his eyes..

<>

Story

2009-10-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Seeing so many people started writing stories,
I think I should start writing in English.

As I am writing my diary in Chinese, Trying in English should be.. chaotic..
Plus learning to put words in english should bring my english to the next level.
Why?
Because I Felt dramatic reading pocket of sunshine's blog and deeply motivated by 'Julian' in Leggie's new enchanting tale. It reminds of myself when I was young.

Maybe I should write some stories..
Imaging myself in Bangkok again.
Imaging myself in another dimension.
Or tales long before back to the young naive age that I was brutally assulted which give me a scar to remember.

Hmm..
It will be a.. Project?
oo.....

还是真的有点懒惰。习惯了咯，华文。
那我还如何给我的朋友小花名？
..
想想。
万事起头难，
试一试就知道了。
人就是这样。

对了，
我也想记得今天。
因为，
我被人狠狠地利用了。。
利用不用紧，
但是竟然我，
有麻烦。。
怎么世间上的人那么恐怖。。

-----------------------

2009-09-18T03:34:00.000-07:00

2009-01-13T07:43:00.001-08:00

http://chdza2008.blog.163.com/blog/static/800716642009046564945/

2009-01-13T06:54:00.000-08:00

旅遊了 28 國才知道的

1.到了中國，才知道只生一個孩子好。
2.到了臺灣，才知道罵祖宗還可以面帶微笑。
3.到了香港，才知道明星都戴著口罩。
4.到了日本，才知道死不認帳的人有時候還會很有禮貌。
5.到了韓國，才知道亞洲足球使上帝都差點瘋掉。
6.到了泰國，才知道看見漂亮妹妹先別慌著擁抱。
7.到了新加坡，才知道為什麼四面都是水，還向別人要。
8.到了印度，才知道多貴重的人都得給牛讓道。
9.到了印尼，才知道為什麼華人夜裏睡不著覺。
10.到了阿拉伯，才知道做男人是多麼的驕傲。
11.到了法國，才知道被人調戲還會很有情調。
12.到了西班牙，才知道被牛拱到天上還可以哈哈大笑。
13.到了南斯拉夫，才知道為什麼有人不願回到祖國的懷抱。
14.到了奧地利，才知道是個乞丐都能彈上一支小調。
15.到了瑞士，才知道開個銀行帳戶沒有十萬會被人恥笑。
16.到了丹麥，才知道寫個童話其實可以不打草稿。
17.到了義大利，才知道天天吃比薩臉上都可以不長膿包。
18.到了希臘，才知道迷人的地方其實都是破廟。
19.到了梵蒂岡，才知道在其境內任何地方開槍都可以打著羅馬的鳥。
20.到了美國，才知道不管是誰，亂嚷嚷都會中炮。
21.到了加拿大，才知道面積比中國還大的地方，人比北京還少。
22.到了巴拿馬，才知道一條河也代表了主權的重要。
23.到了巴西，才知道衣服穿得很少也用不著害臊。
24.到了智利，才知道火車在境內拐個彎也很難辦到。
25...到了阿根廷，才知道不懂足球會讓人暈倒。
26.到了南非，才知道隨時會被愛滋吻到。
27.到了撒哈拉，才知道節約用水的重要。
28.走遍非洲，才知道人吃人有時候也是一種需要...。
extra

到了马来西亚，才知道牵手也会接传票！

Happy new year !!

2008-12-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

Mixed feelings

2008-12-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

My life has expended.
In a normal day,
I work. I watch porn. I masturbate. I sleep. I work.
Suddenly,
I realised that is my life unhealthy.
Knowing that life is lonely because of not having another life partner
makes me rethink
My career.
My Job.
And what I am going to accomplish in another 5 years

Before I am old

My company is having a big restructuring.
Many of our staff resigned.
For me,
Because I am commitee to my new house.Car.Loans.
I am tie to the knot.

Friends started to ask me to join AMWAY as a side income.
People invited me to attend financial seminars.
Insurans seminars. Investment seminars.
While the others live life as they imagine it to be.
watching movies, Happy go lucky...

At times I wonder what is happening
I wonder

My brother was in AMWAY before.
No doubt he earns a bit,
But he spends also a bit there... $$$

And the inner self of mines that worked in an MLM company marketing before
tells me that...
It is about
Margins..
Profit margin.
Marketing .

As the economy grows bad to worse.
Apart of Health care system that won't be affected so much.
The second to florish in this season will be on MLM..

WHO DON'T WANT TO GET RICH?

But again.
The reason of flourishing MLM is
People don't want to be lonely.
And definitely there is something call HOPE that makes people look forward to their lives
Each and every day.
'My upline will not lie to me -- because if I succeed, he succeed even more...' ( a friend )
'Earn as much as ... and even you are dead, your money is rolling in..' (Security)
'Starting a business requires a lot of money, start small'...
'Be professional, even a garbage man can become CROWN!!!'
'He quits he GM post in the company just to be FULL TIME in AMWAY!!'

no doubt that MLM have its own attractive sides,
I can only ask a question to myself,
Is this what I want?

*P/S Sorry to those that really into MLM company. It is just merely my feeling for now..
-------------------------------------------------------------

EPF 8%

2008-11-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

假设薪水RM4000，

- 选择 EPF 11%也就是RM440，taxable income 是RM3560，所以tax RM77
- 选择 EPF 8%也就是RM320， taxable income 是RM3680，所以tax RM109

有没有这样的可能？

习惯

2008-11-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

习惯，是个恐怖的东西。
它可以是美丽的。
看你如何对待。

我习惯了。。
很多东西。

我习惯了。
每天早晚看porn..

我习惯了。
每天早晚看新闻。。。

我习惯了。
每个星期游泳一次。。。

我习惯了。
每天。。。。。。。

今天，
我改变了一些小东西。

但是，
习惯来了，
它弄得我好累。

什么是累？
为什么？
我只可以说，

是懒惰，
是偷懒。

不是，

是习惯。

经济风暴来了，
我也要加油了。

加油。
小旋转是可以的。
虽然不能把自己变的帅，
但是，
把自己弄得充实，
我觉得更加值得。
---------------------------------------

2008-10-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

* MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*

After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife : "No! Why?"
Muthu : "In London, a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'... that's why."
Wife : ?????????
******

*MUTHU & TOURIST*

A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
and Muthu said .. "No sir, only babies were born here."
******

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*

Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked. Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*

When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
*****

* MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*

Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin. Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard "* WASH BASIN* "
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*

Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu : "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."
*****

*Oh... Lest I forget ............. the funniest...*

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why ????????????Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him...
and so he did it!

2008-10-30T06:34:00.001-07:00

* MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview...."Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied : "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."

2008-10-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

Mother : David, come here.

David : Yes, mum?

Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

2008-10-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

Teacher : "Where were u born?"
Student : " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher : "Which part?"
Student : "All of me, Sir."

2008-10-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."

2008-10-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son : That's why I say she's no good!

2008-10-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

2008-10-30T06:25:00.001-07:00

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

2008-10-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!
Father :How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Is this what Sodomy is all about?

2008-10-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

2008-10-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

Take Time to work,

It is the price of success.

Take Time to think,

It is the source of power.

Take Time to Play,

It is the secret of popetual youth

Take Time to Read,

It is the foundation of wisdom.

Take Time to be friendly,

It is the road to happiness.

Take Time to dream,

It is hitching your wagon to a star.

Take Time to love and be loved,

It is the priviledge of redeemed.

Take Time to look around,

It is too short a day to be selfish.

Take Time to laugh,

It is the music of the soul.

Take Time for God,

It is life's only lasting investment.

Take Time for Emotioneel,

It is friendship that makes him alive so far.

Sushi King

2008-10-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Do you know that Sushi King had been existing in Malaysia since 1995?

They started a style called Kaiten-Sushi, also known as “conveyor belt” sushi, contemporary eating style , 'conveyor belt'....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

However, it loses the 'Japanese' taste..

As the cooks from Bangladesh...

(personal comment)..

2008-10-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

If you want to avoid buying China imported food…

you will need to know how to read the bar code on the products to see where they are actually coming from…

If the bar code starts from :

690 or 691 or 692

they are from China

If the bar code starts from :

471

they are from Taiwan

Please be aware that the Melamine case is expanding, not only some of the mike contains Melamine, even some candy and chocolate are no good to eat now…

even melamine is use in ham and hamburgers or some vegetarian food.

Please do beware at this moment for your own health.

2008-10-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

2008-10-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

老年与中年与少年

2008-09-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

今天，
一位47岁的男人，
问了我。。。

‘我们很有缘分的xxxxxxxxxxxxxx’

我不知道为什么我会跟他交谈，
是不是他很像我爸爸？

我心想，
31岁与47岁的。。

噢。。。。他真的可以做我的爸爸了。

其实，
不知道自己是什么的，
好像近来比较有缘分与比我年老的

他们都对我有少许的好感。

我感觉
是不是最近很‘heng' 这个combination.

但是，
我没有答应他任何东西。

做个普通朋友还可以。
超友谊。

sorry..
我喜欢ed....

我想起他今天在游泳池对我招手。。

他喊：

‘记得！！

我晚上都有空喝茶。
我自己一个人住。
没有问题的。

-------’

又想起他几次要偷偷拍我照片的样子，
感觉超夸张。
我又不是好看，
你又是第一次认识我，
干嘛要拍？

他说，当我打电话的时候，
他才知道我是谁。。

虽然我不会与他们有任何超友谊关系，
但是，
身为一个人，尊重别人的人。
我不可能说，

‘下次别见面了，我不想被你fxxk,
我也好像没有可能再联络你，
因为我们真的没有话题。’

所以，拍我的照片根本不成立，
好彩他几次偷拍都被我阻止。

但是，我还认为除了做人家的性伴侣，
世界上是有
普通交流的朋友。

而我，
很珍惜每一个那么普通的朋友。
因为我们都不是完美的人。

我希望可以和他做普通朋友，
如果他想到其他的，
sorry..
他好像发梦了，
不是他不好，

感情是要说feel的。

我突然间感觉，
原来ED... 也就是这样，

不是我不好，
只是我们没有feel...

我。。。。

New disease

2008-09-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

Bedtime story might be facing these patients.. As well as little dove..

The Malaysian Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.

ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil service

DIAL-ARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as 'I'm now on the monorail'or 'I'm walking towards the car.' Victims can be recognized by large, twitching thumb.

MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles

MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam , Thailand , Indonesia , and China to take on
additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.

YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia . Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.

EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers and lotteries.

HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains…….. Heavytitis C; Heavytitis D;
Heavytitis DD, and sometimes Heavytitis F...or even G.

CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access..

DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health
authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.

CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to tokkok. Highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.

ITCHINIA
The urge in some men after reaching 40 to go for young chicks. This disease spreads fast among those with money and position and cuts across both government and business people. Beware of those who take trips out under the pretext of duty or business. This is a dangerous symptom that the disease may already have taken hold.

心碎 - 张惠妹

2008-09-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

城市一片漆黑
谁都不能看见谁
除非紧紧依偎
我让自己喝醉
没有你我就不能入睡
整夜又整夜的徘徊
我说过我绝对不会后悔
寂寞是被原谅的罪
喔
爱情怎么让每个人都心碎
怎么去安慰
爱情怎么让每个人都流泪
城市一片漆黑
谁都不能看见谁
除非紧紧依偎
我让自己喝醉
没有你我就不能入睡
整夜又整夜的徘徊
我说过我绝对不会后悔
寂寞是被原谅的罪
喔
爱情怎么让每个人都心碎
怎么去安慰
爱情怎么让每个人都流泪
你的泪烫伤我的脸
那一次我尝到伤悲
我说过我绝对不会后悔
寂寞是被原谅的罪
喔
爱情怎么让每个人都心碎
怎么去安慰
爱情怎么让每个人都流泪
你的泪烫伤我的脸
从此就再也说不出
我爱谁

Something I found in the net that makes me think

2008-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Quote of the DAY

2008-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

Whoever wants to reach a distant goal must take small steps

2008-08-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

突然间爱上了这首歌。。。

2008-08-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发
你最近还好吗是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

2008-07-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

English or Chinese??

2008-03-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

THere are Questions arise..
Should I post in english? or remain in Chinese?

坦白说。
英语
华语

。。

我又再被小新遗弃
根本没有开始。

太可惜了。。

A gentle reminder

2007-12-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Emotioneel.

Be reminded today that because of your not attentive enough that made you accidently deleted completely your important files.
CAREFULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a gentle reminder.

孤单的树

2007-12-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

今天，
我又与小德在网中见面。
谁是小德？
我的其中一位好友+ 同志好友。
在我们的谈话里头，
我问了他，
男人，
同志的，
是要成为bottom 还是 top .
bottom 会，
爽meh ?
-------

他很简单的说。
男人的屁股有5个senser..
所以，
一定会有某些层次上的所谓‘爽’
突然间，
我开始疑问了。
对我自己而言，
我肯定不会bottom.
我觉得可能作bottom 的男人, 是因为对方太爱对方了，
后来，
。。。
小德还对我说，
plu的男人，超爱sex.
要有准备才好。
最好双插头。。。
---------

咦？
小德说，
当初他成为了bottom 因为男友是个pure top.
他，
就‘kang' 了。。
从开始，痛。。
到了没有感觉。。
到了好像有一点点爽。。
到了现在，
两面都ok..
他还比出了一个v..
表示胜利。。

------

那天，他说他见到了一个bi..
然后，
与他。。。

感觉很开心，
有了收获，
男的，是个top...

不理了，有帅男不放过。。。

------

坦白说，我的小德长相不错，
加上有高度。

。。 desperate? 。。

我觉得自己可能也会有。
但是，
是不是自己没有那么多的勇气?
所以能忍者忍。

前几天与小v 谈过天，

他没说什么，
只问了我的照片。
说，如果看见我，会感觉舒服少许，而且，
小v 习惯了与见过的人谈天。
大家该是太孤单了，
想要有一个人谈天。
见面。。

突然间，
我觉得，
plu 的男人，都是很lonely 的男人。
只有男人，才了解男人的孤单。
只有男人，才会欣赏男人的某些气质。
唯有男人，才不会太过的唠叨。
也只有男人，可以一天，有超过3 次的sex...

至于女人，
要培养情绪。。
男人，
摸一摸。。
就可以了。。。
sense 一定要够。
坦白说我每天masturbate 4 次。
不知道是太压力了，
还是很有需要。

所以参加gym的第二个理由，
就是想减少我的masturbation..
太不健康了。

孤单。
感觉。

好像全世界的plu 都想在找一个帅男来当自己的男友。
情人眼底出西施。

小壮。。

完美男人。

嗨。
不该在想小壮了。
一方面又幻想christmas 骗他喝酒，然后脱光他的衣服。。

。。。

‘不可以在想他。。。’

孤独的声音又在开始在我耳边响。。

忘记小壮。
没有了月亮，
还是一样可以看星星。。

2007-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

小壮的感觉图

2007-10-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

2007-10-14T22:09:00.001-07:00

2007-10-13T22:17:00.001-07:00

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

2007-10-13T20:07:00.001-07:00

To 杰爾1102

2007-10-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

杰爾1102,
你还好吗？
突然间，我发现你的名字，
很熟悉，也很陌生。
当我感觉很累的时候，
突然间，
你出现。
鼓励，说出你的意见。
对了，
杰爾1102，
我打算了，
下个月，
可能会加入gym。
要开始自己的生活。
对自己的健康说，
加油。
很小的一步，
但是，
我相信自己。
对了。
我可以有你的blog add 吗？
那我也可以在你的blog里，
说说我的看法。
我可能会很幼稚，
但是，可说是来自内心100%。
希望可以听到你的声音。
对了，
你该不是sengchuan吧？
加油咯！！
谢谢。

2007-08-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

I support you .. Ming Chit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GyH7W-wSxQ

Today

2007-08-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

I woke up ...
with my eyes wet today.
Never I thought it is possible to dream of weaping and woke up weaping.
I will never know.
Life is getting nearer to the end,
to a path and I need to take up a decision.
to a path where I need to choose,
to a path where I need to go,
Can I find happiness?
can I survive?
I will never know if I never tried.

又梦见了我哭。
哭了。
抱着妈妈哭了。
怎么一个大男生那么爱哭？
我想，在现实生活上除了4年前为了某某事哭了一次，
而且在车上自己一个人，没人知道的情况下哭，
那就是了。
但是，
现在，又在梦里哭。
两次了。
我有问题吗？
自己的心无法承担自己对自己的压力。
感觉自己太不争气了。
妈妈。
爸爸。
-------
妈妈昨晚说，“那么老了还没有女友。。”
爸爸说，“妈妈昨晚很想到哥哥哪儿去。”
妈妈说，“爸爸昨晚睡得不好，手臂痛。”
原来，很多人，都偏照顾别人。
特别是我爸妈。
他们年纪老了，
还得承受老人之苦。
机器用了几十年，
是休息的时间了。
我想，明年我会陪他们到中国游玩。
他们该会开心一点吧！
但是，
我还得存钱。
--------
不是自己做生意，钱还是没那么多的。
--------
自己有点不争气。
经济上。。
生活开始有点寂寞。
感情上。。
身体有点臃肿。
健康上。。
--------
但是，
我还是我。
加油哦。
靠你了。

梦

2007-08-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

很久没有发梦了。
我很想梦。
今天，
突然间，我发梦了。
我梦见我亲爱的妈妈哭了。
我们抱着一起哭。
可怜的妈妈。
可怜的我们。
不知不觉中苦了。
我哭着说，
“对不起”
。。。。。
很难辨认事情。。
。。。。。
突然间我的世界又在旋转。
对于现在没有爱情经验的人，
一向来都以朋友为重的人，
突然间，顿然间，
发现，
父母，原来是动力所在。
朋友，是边缘的诱惑。
没有人会把朋友放在第一位。
特别是不是男，女性朋友。
。。
生命
有太多太多的解释。
太多太多的不一样。

机会

2007-08-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

机会，是自己争取的。
很多人，包括我，
有很多的机会，但是，没有真正的争取。
自己要的，就要加油，
人，
是要加油的。
。。
但是，争取不是等于勉强。
。。
我有了个机会，
但是，因为某某很烂的人而起飞了。。。
还是自己不够争取？
。。。
。。。。
。。。。。
。。
今天，
我看见了一个我认为帅的男人。
我很想成为那么帅气的-- 他。
所以，偷偷拍了他背影的照片。原来，
我认为帅的男人，
就是拥有自信的男人。
他都很争取，
原来，
生命。。。
如此简单。
还是我们太复杂？

突然间世界开始旋转得很快

2007-07-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

今天，突然间一个马来女生说，
‘咦！你超像马来人。你是mix？”
‘我像吗？’，我问。
‘你看来有点像mix。哈哈。’
‘谢谢你的分享’，我回答。
----
然后，今天也与老板做工。
发现了同事对我做的小秘密，原来，
人，是最可怕的动物。
----
妒嫉，权利。资料。
----
人就是人。
----
突然间对人失去了信心，
我可以怎么样？
----
野马，小青青，
也可能是这个样子。
我顿然对人失去了基本的信任。
----
我会活下去。

小旋转的人生

2007-07-16T06:04:00.000-07:00

人生，是那么的短？
这一次到吉隆玻总有一点的启示。
车祸，
更让我了解到自己。
突然间觉得自己一向来不敢面对自己，
世界的种种，令我看到了丑陋的自己。
丑陋的态度，
不成熟的理念。
我还可以变得更加好。
我能够。
突然间觉得世界的无情，
亲情的可贵。
我暂时还无法把家庭放在第一位，
但是，我将可以。
这一切让我更加的了解自己。
我还是会加油。

2007-07-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

看一看这张照片错在那里？

2007-07-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

人。
我是人。
他是人。
大家是人。

明天，我会回吉隆玻，
想想这一个月来，我变得怎么样？
突然发现自己变得很傻。
又肥了，
最近，都没有时间运动，
更没有时间游泳。
然后，
睡了很多，
变得更懒了。

但是，
经过了这一段时间的锻炼，
突然间觉得自己更加要加油改变，
在吉隆玻，
感觉自己已经放松了。一切都ok。只有时时想到野马，然后小青青。
现在，忙得。。很傻。
我是机器吗？
我想，是不是自己习惯了装傻，
像我这样的年纪，因该装聪明。
但是，聪明的人，太过于聪明，会惹来不必要得麻烦。
但是装笨的人，没有出头天。
那？我该变成什么？

今天，
我突然觉得，
我要变成自己。
我想成为一个，聪明，会推东西给其他人的人。
我想成为一个，被人喜欢的人。
我想成为一个，被人尊重的人。
我想成为一个更加成功的人。
我突然变得。。很贪钱。
只要有钱，我可以什么都做。
。。
真的吗？
那天，突然间想，
我还是跑回原点，因为我不够人家诈。。
。。
人性。。
我会加油。

2007-07-08T00:10:00.000-07:00

2007-07-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

2007-07-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

2007-07-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

会痛吗？

2007-07-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

2007-07-06T08:53:00.001-07:00

文字

2007-07-06T07:34:00.001-07:00

命运就像强*，你反抗不了就要学会享受。

工作就像轮*，,你不行了别人就上。

生活就像自慰，,什么都得靠自己双手。

学习就像嫖娼，出完钱后又出力。

工资就像例假，一月不来你就傻眼。

谈判就像口交，费尽了口舌也就那点收获。

捐款就像发情，一想起来马上就要。

奖金就像阴毛，掉的要比长的多。

领导就像阴道，总是欺软怕硬。

开会就像乱伦，搞不清谁该搞谁。

兄弟像避孕套，桶多大的娄子都帮你兜着。

看贴不回的就像阳痿，明明看爽了，就是没动作！！

车祸。。

2007-07-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

坦白说，
上个星期四，我车祸了。
车祸了两次，
可能吗？
对我来说，它发生了。
第一次，
我失控，在highway边的沙路转了个弯。
在转弯的当儿，我刹那的回想我生命。。原来那么的空白。
然后，在转，再转。
像个小旋转。
然后，
‘砰！’就撞在路边石头。差点掉进了大水沟。
。。。。。。
我。。原来还活着。
伤心的自己，
然后，就往自己家的方向回去。
我跑到车场问，可以架回吗？
。。当时，还可以。。。

20分钟后。
。。
我又再车祸。
这次，
我撞倒一辆motor.
还是motor撞我？
这是我第一次看见人。。飞。。
车死了，老铁马死了。。。
人。。
还活着。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
当时，
我一片空。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
生命，要跟我说些东西。
是不是他说，
‘醒吧！’
还是。
你，还有事情还没做。。
还是，
这是我生命的开始。。。
真的吗？
。。。。
我不明白。。
天，
可以给我一个启示吗？

车祸

2007-07-01T05:36:00.000-07:00

是的。
我车祸了。
突然间在生死关头，了解了一点点的东西。
生命。
关心你的人。
自己。
命运。
想太多。做太少。

2007-06-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

明天

2007-06-21T05:43:00.000-07:00

明天。
后天。
大后天。
我都得工作。
加油咯。

今天

2007-06-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

今天，发生一件非常夸张的事。
是什么呢？
有一个很老的马来人突然前来跟我说，

‘你很像明星。。’

超夸张的。

然后，我就寄了一封sms给野马。
他没有回答我。

。。
世界上，真的什么人都有。

。。

我唯有看一看，闻一闻，
多了解自己。
是时候加油，加油，再加油。。
我没有时间伤心了。

2007-06-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

今天

2007-06-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

通常，发现，这几天发现那么多奇怪的东西。
其实，以下拍的照片都是我自己拍下来的。
有时候，
记录开心的事，比记录伤心的事好。
伤心，是什么？
快乐，
我不是很快乐，但我可以变得快乐。

真的吗？

2007-06-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

有可能吗？

2007-06-20T06:59:00.001-07:00

男人不可进入？
真的吗？
原来，在马来西亚，是有可能的。

2007-06-20T06:57:00.000-07:00